Coming up on the 12^th will be the one year anniversary of my Grandpa’s death. I’ve been reflecting back on those months (years) leading up to his death, ironically, because I’m getting ready for the wedding of our middle daughter. He was 91 when he died. We had taken care of him in our home for five years, so he was very much a part of the fabric of our home. I miss him. He would have liked the young man our daughter is marrying. Grandpa was a tank mechanic in WWII with the Marines, and loved to invent machines. The man our daughter is marrying works with large machinery in an excavation company, although for this past year he took time out to work on a ranch. I wish they could ‘talk shop’. My mom would have liked him immensely as well because he’s very kind, and thoughtful of things that need to be done.

I’m thankful we had the opportunity to care for Grandpa. It is a tricky time of life. So many different aspects to consider as a ‘care giver’ and as the one cared for. I received a letter from a friend who is a chaplain at a retirement home. I empathized immediately when I read this paragraph:

"Compared to the freedom we have to come and go, the bodies of the aged can be a virtual prison. So many are physically and mentally weak, life worn, and tired. One dear lady living in [Name of Place] (the Alzheimer’s wing) summarized their existence completely as she gazed searchingly at the wall clock, saying bleakly, ‘It’s so hard to be 10:14.’ She doesn’t understand why she’s there, why no one comes to see her, why she can’t go home. Many residents have a greater understanding of their circumstances, but that doesn’t ease the sadness. No matter how well they’re attended to (and everyone, from the maintenance man to the administrator, is kind and protective), it’s hard to be any time of day."

It is hard to be any time of day, whether you are at home with family, or in a Home. It was important that we had help. We could not have taken care of Grandpa without other people giving us breaks, but more importantly, visiting with him for his sake. He had to transplant up to our house, leave everything and everyone that he had known and move in with a bunch of young kids. Not an easy task for an independent man. Then, the Christmas cards get down to one or two of your old friends, because, they’re all that are left of the ‘old crew’. There is a verse in the hymn, How Firm A Foundation, that I repeated to myself often when helping Grandpa: And when hoary hairs their temple adorn, like lambs they shall still in My bosom be born.

Tonite the kids introduced us to a new family game.  I don't know what it is called, but it is fun to play.  You need paper and pencils for everyone.  You start out with: "What if.." and then you write in the what if.  For example, you could write, "What if Joel could jump over the plum tree and land in the pasture without scaring the cows".  Next, you pass that to someone else in the group.  Then you read the "What if" statement on your new paper to yourself and then turn it over and write, "then ..." in answer to that paper's "what if".  (You are not to say anything outloud yet.) Finally, you pass them around again, and then the first person reads the "What if" and then the next person reads the "then..." on his paper.  Then he reads the "what if..." on his paper and the next person reads the "then...", and so on.  Yes, it is nonsensical, but it certainly was fun. 

Another one we really like to play we call "Crack kills", but I really don't know why we call it that.... It too is a paper and pencil around-the-room game.  You need as many papers as people in the group, per person.  Number them.  On the first paper you write a famouse quote, or saying, or make one up.  For example, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." Pass the whole stack to the next person, who has passed his whole stack on to his other neighbor, on down the line.  The person then looks at the saying, moves it to the back of its stack and on page 2 draws a picture of the saying.  Pass the stack on down.  The next person then looks at the picture on page 2, and then puts page 2 to the back of its stack and, based on the drawing on page 2, writes out the saying on page 3. Pass the stack, the next person reads page 3, puts it to the back, and draws the saying, passes it on, until you come to the end.  You have to end on a saying, not a picture; you may have to adjust. It is more complicated to explain than it is to play.  (I still have on my refridgerator a picture of a 'parrot', but it was actually supposed to be an airplane, and, if you turn it sideways, it really does look like an airplane, but it was "read" longways, and so everyone (except the artist) thought it was a parrot. It greatly altered the final saying, of which I don't remember!)

Those who observe lying vanities forsake their own Mercy. But I will sacrifice to You with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay what I have vowed. Salvation is of the LORD.

These are the last words out of Jonah’s mouth before the Fish vomited him on to dry land. Those of you who know me, know how life-saving these truths that Jonah recorded are to me. Lying vanities is also translated worthless idols, but in my mind, saying lying vanities helps me to see what idols I’m following. Mercy is literally, Lovingkindness, and it is capitalized because it is particularly God’s loving kindness. So, anything that is "helping" me to ignore His Mercy, anything that I am listening to at the exclusion of His voice, is an idol. And here’s the way out, the way to stop the hold of the lying vanities, those idols: give thanks to God. Being thankful puts you back on solid ground, no matter what is going on around you.

Becoming unthankful is sometimes like wearing those eye glasses that get dark as you go outside and light as go inside; you don’t really notice the change. As convenient as that is in eyewear, it is not good for your soul to stop giving thanks. We can get to the point that we cannot see God’s hand in things anymore, like the Dwarves in C. S. Lewis’ book, The Last Battle, despising the good food and water given them (the reality), going so far as to call it horse manure and trough water (their perception of things). How quick I am to forget!!

Sometimes I forget how powerful thankfulness is, or for that matter, how deadly unthankfulness is. In Romans 1:21, Paul is describing people that God is angry with, it says, "...because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful,..." Another place, Jude 15&16, again in the context of God’s judgement, Jude writes, "...to convict all who are ungodly among them of all their ungodly deeds which they have committed in an ungodly way, and of all the harsh things which ungodly sinners have spoken against Him-" and here we expect Jude to write of some horribly heinous people, and he writes, "these are grumblers, complainers,..." This is the danger of unthankfulness, it is that bad.

But look at I Thessalonians 5:14-22, one passage among many, that tells us to "rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." Do you not know what to do? At least you know of three things to do, rejoice always- because your sins are forgiven and God is at peace with you; pray without ceasing- because we must listen to Him and He delights to listen to us; in everything give thanks- because He is working all things together for good- His good and your good-, to them that love Him.

May I, and you, rest in His Mercy today.

Les Miserables, by Victor Hugo, is one of our all-time family favorite books. I believe the apex, the climax, the point of the whole story is summed up in this passage from the last chapter. It is too much to ‘catch you up’ to all the ramifications of Cosette (the adopted daughter) and her husband coming to see Jean Valjean (the father), but it is beautiful, in the full sense of the word.

Jean Valjean faltered, "How foolish we are! I thought I would never see her again. Only think, Monsieur Pontmercy, that at the moment you came in, I was saying to myself: It is all over. There is her little dress, I am a miserable man, I will never see Cosette again, I was saying that at the very moment you were coming up the stairs. Wasn’t I silly? I was as silly as that! But we reckon with out God. God said: You think that you are going to be abandoned, idiot? No. No, it shall not come to pass like that. Come, here is a poor man who has need of an angel. And the angel comes; and I see my Cosette again! And I see my darling Cosette again! Oh! I was very miserable."

Victor Hugo previously illustrates this point, that ‘we reckon without God’, in other parts of the story. Two readily come to mind, Inspector Javert’s suicide, and the ultimate disgrace of the Thenardiers. Javert’s suicide is so very tragic because he cannot reconcile mercy and justice. He reckoned without God. God, who is ultimate truth and justice, in His Son the Lord Jesus Christ, paid the penalty for sin. In Christ, sin is not winked at, the sin is paid for, Mercy and Grace prevail. Forgiveness then, is not an irreconcilable act. "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 6:23) The Thenardiers oppressed the poor and the needy. Their sin of greed was visibly idolatrous. They reckoned without God. "To do evil is like sport to a fool. But a man of understanding has wisdom. The fear of the wicked will come upon him, and the desire of the righteous will be granted. When the whirlwind passes by, the wicked is no more, but the righteous has an everlasting foundation." (Proverbs 10:23-25)

Not surprisingly, I’ve been meditating on Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall make your paths straight." Sometimes, in the big decisions of life, we will go to this passage. But I believe we are to practice this "acknowledging Him" in all aspects of our day. Little things, like praying in a restaurant thanking Him for the food, the restaurant, the time to go out. He very much is there, why be embarrassed to acknowledge His presence? As I’m cleaning, driving, teaching, I am not alone. How easy is it to ignore the Lord Jesus Christ? Along this vein, someone I read quoted George MacDonald as saying, "Obedience is the great opener of the eyes." How True! Understanding comes with obedience.

On a side note, do any of you know where Mr. MacDonald may have written this?

Today I had the rare occasion to go to a screening.  It was the screening of "Logger's Daughter", to be aired on Oregon Public Broadcasting's Oregon Experience.  It was worth every minute watching.  If you are interested, you can go to this website: http://www.maxvilleheritage.org/  .  Another aspect to the rarity of the day, was that my little sister and I were able to go together.  We only live 30 miles from each other, but it is harder to get together than it may appear!

And we certainly do not get together as much as we'd like.

And one can only talk on the phone so long.

And I would be lost without her.

That being said, I still keep introducing her as, "My little sister". 

I really need to stop that.